What to do when it’s your birthday, and the woman who brought you into the world is no longer a part of it?
As much as I wanted to pull myself together and put on a good front for my family and friends, I couldn’t. I wanted to tell them that I was okay, that everything was alright. But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.
My mother’s sudden and unexpected death on March 24th, 2015 has left me confused, sad, angry, remorseful, and so much more.
I can only think of the things we never had the chance to do, and the things she was looking forward to in the coming months, including her retirement party. (She died three months after retiring.)
Every time I saw her or any time we spoke, she was so filled with energy and excitement about what was coming next, and to know that she and I will not have those experiences only brings me sadness, no matter how much I try to cling to how I believe her to be at peace, it hasn’t brought me peace.
I love her, I miss her and I had to listen to this song for her. She loved it because it made her think of her own mother, my grandmother.